7 Grief Strategies for Bereaved Moms this Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time for family, tradition, and gratitude. But when you’ve lost a child, those words can feel hollow and even painful. The world keeps moving forward with smiling family photos, laughter-filled dinners, and endless holiday ads, while your heart is quietly breaking.

If you’ve ever stared at the Thanksgiving table, noticing the empty chair that should still be filled or scrolled through social media wondering how everyone else can celebrate while you’re just trying to breathe, then please take a moment to read this blog.

As a bereaved mom myself, I know how hard this season can be. Before my daughter Katie died, Thanksgiving was predictable in the best way — cozy, familiar, filled with the same food, the same laughter, the same stories. But now? Nothing about it feels “normal.”

Thanksgiving, at its core, is built on three things — tradition, family, and gratitude. And when your child dies, all three can crumble.

Traditions that once felt comforting now highlight what’s missing. Family gatherings can feel awkward, as people tiptoe around your loss. And gratitude? Some days, it feels impossible to find anything to be thankful for.

Then, just when you’ve made it through the day, the world shifts into Black Friday mode. Commercials shout about joy, togetherness, and finding “the perfect gift,” and all you can think is — there’s one person you’ll never buy for again. It’s no wonder so many bereaved moms dread this time of year.

But even in this heaviness, there are small ways to care for yourself and protect your heart. Here are seven ways to survive Thanksgiving after child loss — gentle, realistic reminders that you can get through this day, even when your heart feels broken.

Grief Strategies to Try:

1. Release the Idea of “Normal.”

Nothing about your life is normal anymore, and trying to recreate the past will only deepen the pain. Give yourself permission to simplify. You can skip the big meal, order takeout, or spend the day quietly at home. Traditions can be rebuilt when and if you’re ready. For now, surviving is enough.

Lisa's Book for Bereaved moms

2. Honour Your Child in a Quiet Way.

You don’t need a grand gesture. Light a candle at the table, include your child’s favourite dish, or whisper their name when you say grace. These simple acts remind you, and others, that your child still matters.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Say “No.”

It’s okay to decline invitations or leave early if it’s too much. People might not understand, and that’s okay too. Protect your energy. A simple response like, “Thank you for inviting me, but I’m keeping things quiet this year,” is enough. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

4. Have a Plan for the Hardest Moments.

Thanksgiving can bring unexpected waves of emotion. Maybe it’s during grace, a family toast, or a passing comment that hits the wrong way. Give yourself an “escape plan”: step outside, go for a short drive, or find a quiet room to breathe and cry.

5. Choose Comfort Over Performance.

There’s no award for pretending to be okay. Wear comfortable clothes. Eat what feels comforting. Skip the cooking if it drains you. Whether it’s pajamas on the couch or store-bought pie, do whatever helps you feel a tiny bit more at ease.

6. Limit the Noise.

Between holiday ads, social media, and sale emails, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Protect your peace by turning off the TV, logging out of social apps, and deleting promotional emails. You don’t need constant reminders of what’s missing.

7. Find One Tiny Thing That Feels Like Gratitude.

This isn’t about being thankful for your loss. it’s about noticing what still brings a flicker of warmth. Maybe it’s sunlight through a window, a text from a friend, or a photo that makes you smile. Gratitude doesn’t erase grief, but it can soften the edges of it.

If this year feels impossible, remember this: you never have to be thankful for what happened. You can simply acknowledge what still exists: love, memories, connection. You are still a mother. Your child’s story continues through you; in the love you give, the words you speak, and the quiet strength that carries you through each day.

For now, I invite you to try just one grief strategy and give yourself grace. You are doing your very best.

Over time, you may find new rituals, new ways to honour your child, and new expressions of gratitude that feel genuine. But for now, it’s okay if the best you can do is breathe through the day.

Walking beside you,

XO Lisa Boehm

(aka Katie's mom)

And if you need extra support, you don’t have to face the holidays alone. You can download my Free Resource List for Bereaved Moms — it’s full of tools, books, and comforting resources that have helped me and so many others find light through the dark.

👉 Download the Free Resource List Here