Navigating Grief & Child Loss on Social Media
- Lisa K. Boehm
- Nov 8
- 3 min read
Grieving in the digital age can feel like walking through a minefield. One moment you’re scrolling through photos of loved ones or finding comfort in a memory reminder — and the next, a single post can leave you in tears.
For many grieving moms, social media can be both a lifeline and a landmine. It connects us to others who understand, yet it can also magnify our pain. In this post, I’m sharing what I’ve learned about using social media after loss — the good, the hard, and the mindful middle ground where healing can actually happen.
When Social Media Hurts
In the early years after losing my daughter Katie, the holidays were brutal. I still remember one Christmas, scrolling through my feed and seeing endless family photos — matching pajamas, cozy fires, glowing smiles.
My heart sank. That will never be us again, I thought. Then came the anger: How can they look so happy when my world has fallen apart?
Of course, they weren’t doing anything wrong — they were simply living their lives. But grief distorts what we see. Ordinary joy can feel unbearable when your heart is broken.
That’s when I learned an important lesson:
When social media starts to feel heavier than healing, it’s time to step away.
You have permission to mute, unfollow, or take a complete break. Protecting your peace isn’t selfish — it’s survival. You don’t owe anyone your emotional energy, your “likes,” or your presence online. Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is log out and tend to your heart instead.
When Social Media Heals
On the flip side, social media has also been a source of comfort and connection in my grief. Every year on Katie’s birthday and angel anniversary, I share a photo or story about her life — her kindness, her sense of humor, the things she loved.
Over time, these posts have become part of her legacy. People who never met her now know her laughter and her light. Friends comment, “I remember her,” or, “Thank you for sharing Katie with us.”
Speaking your child’s name keeps their memory alive — and social media can help you do that. When it feels right, it can be a great space for remembrance and storytelling.
The key is intention. Share when you feel grounded, not when you’re seeking reassurance. If your heart feels heavy or raw, pause instead. There’s no “rule” about how often or when to post.
Curate Your Digital Space with Care
Think of your social media feed as your emotional diet — what you consume affects how you feel.
If certain accounts or posts make you anxious, angry, or drained, it’s okay to unfollow or mute them. You don’t have to explain or apologize. Curating your space is an act of self-compassion.
Ask yourself:
Does this account make me feel inspired or depleted?
Hopeful or heavy?
Seen or invisible?
If it doesn’t support you, let it go. I’ve even unfollowed grief pages when they felt too heavy for where I was in my journey. Healing changes over time — and so should your online environment.
And yes, sprinkle in some lighthearted joy. Puppy videos, travel inspiration, or even a few “Wrangler butts” (don’t judge!) can be good for the soul. Not everything you follow has to be about child loss.
Healthy Social Media Habits for Grieving Hearts
Here are a few gentle practices to make social media a more healing space:
Be intentional. Ask yourself, “Why am I here right now?” before opening an app.
Set boundaries. Create “scroll-free” times or days. Protecting your energy is self-care.
Save what soothes you. Keep a comfort folder for posts or quotes that bring peace.
Don’t compare your grief. You’re seeing highlight reels, not realities. Everyone’s path is different.
Be kind to yourself. If you slip into old habits, simply notice and reset. Awareness is progress.
Final Thoughts for Child Loss & Social Media
Social media will always be complicated — especially after loss. But when used mindfully, it can become a bridge: connecting you to others who understand, reminding the world of your child’s life, and giving you space to express your love and longing.
As you scroll, share, or step back, keep asking yourself:
“Does this bring me peace or pain?”
Choose what helps you. Choose what feels gentle.
And if you’re looking for a safe, supportive place to connect, I invite you to join The Angel Moms Community — a private, uplifting space for bereaved mothers who share stories, find hope, and lift one another up. Because healing is easier when you’re surrounded by people who truly get it.
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