Dreams After Child Loss: What They Mean & How to Have More

If you’re a grieving mother longing to feel close to your child again, your dreams may be holding more meaning than you think.

For many bereaved moms, dreams are more than just random flickers of the subconscious. They can feel like powerful visitation moments; where our children who have died come to us, in spirit. These dreams often feel more vivid, more real, and far more emotionally intense than anything we normally experience during sleep.

I’ve had several dreams of my daughter Katie since she passed away, and I can tell you this: they’ve been some of the most healing and comforting experiences of my grief journey.

My First Dream of Katie

One month after Katie died, I was deep in the fog of grief. I wasn’t sleeping. I’d stare at the ceiling for hours, wishing this nightmare wasn’t real.

Then, one night, I finally fell asleep. In the dream, I was in my kitchen making dinner when I heard the front door open and Katie walked in.

I dropped everything. My heart leapt. “Where have you been?” I cried.

She looked at me with such calm and love and said, “I can’t stay long, Mom.”

Even in the dream, I understood what she meant. It was short, but unforgettable. And when I woke up, I swear I could still feel her presence in the room.

I’ve had other dreams too: dreams where she hugged me tightly, where I smelled her perfume in the middle of the night, and even one where she floated around the house, smiling and peaceful. These moments brought more peace than any words could.

Why These Dreams Matter

According to grief researcher Dr. Joshua Black, grief dreams tend to fall into three main types:

• Visitation Dreams: Vivid, loving dreams where the child often delivers a message. These feel deeply real and are remembered long after waking.

• Symbolic Dreams: These reflect our emotions or grief journey, even if our child doesn’t appear.

• Processing Dreams: These can be jumbled or upsetting, as the mind works through trauma.

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Visitation dreams often stand out because you remember every detail — how they looked, what they wore, the tone of their voice. That’s because energy (our child’s spirit) leaves a feeling. And when the logical brain is quiet during sleep, the heart and soul are more open to receiving those signs.

Why Some Moms Might Not Have Dreams after Child Loss

Here’s what I want every grieving mother to know: Not dreaming doesn’t mean your child isn’t trying to reach you.

Some children send signs in other ways: songs, feathers, smells, or that sudden knowing that they’re near. Some moms are naturally more intuitive or visual, while others feel things in their body or heart. Our communication styles don’t always match with how our child is able to connect.

Also, grief is exhausting. If you’re on medications or running on emotional fumes, your sleep may be too deep or too disrupted for dream recall.

5 Ways to Invite Visitation Dreams

If you’re longing to see your child in a dream, here are five gentle ways to invite that connection:

1. Try a short meditation before bed. Slow your breath and say, “I’m open to seeing you tonight.”

2. Create a nighttime ritual. Light a candle, play calming music, or hold a special object that reminds you of your child.

3. Keep a dream journal. Write down any details as soon as you wake up, even fragments. The more you practice, the more you remember.

4. Ask for a visit. Speak from your heart. You don’t need the perfect words.

5. Let go of expectations. Trust that your child is still with you, even if the dream hasn’t come yet.

   
   

You're Not Alone

If you’ve had a dream of your child and wondered, “Was that real?” — trust your heart. If you haven’t had one yet, don’t give up hope. These connections come in many forms, and love always finds a way.

💬 I’d love to hear from you. Have you experienced dreams after child loss? Come share your story with me on Instagram @grief.and.resilience You’re never walking this path alone.