The Physical Symptoms of Grief No One Talks About

Here’s something most people don’t realize: Grief isn’t just emotional — it’s physical.

When I lost my daughter Katie, I expected heartbreak. I expected tears. But I didn’t expect my body to feel like it had been hit by a truck. I caught three terrible colds in six months, my stomach revolted at the idea of solid food, and my joints ached in ways I had never felt before.

No one told me that grief lives in the nervous system. No one warned me that the body goes into full survival mode after loss.

Trauma floods your system with stress hormones. It disrupts sleep. It impacts digestion, appetite, heart rate, and your ability to think clearly.

Let’s talk about the physical side of grief — the part most people never see.

1. Chest Tightness and Heart Pain

Many bereaved moms describe chest pressure or heaviness. I remember gripping my chest more than once, wondering if I should go to the ER. Stress can cause muscle tension, altered breathing, and even “broken heart syndrome,” which mimics a heart attack.

If anything feels concerning, always seek medical attention. Grief and heart symptoms can overlap, and your safety matters.

Simple ways to soothe your system:

• Place your hand over your heart and breathe slowly.

• Make your exhale longer than your inhale.

• Ground yourself in the present moment by noticing your breath.

2. Exhaustion That Feels Bone-Deep

This isn’t “I didn’t sleep well.”This is my soul is tired. After losing Katie, walking to the mailbox felt like running a marathon. Your brain is processing trauma 24/7, which is metabolically exhausting. Add disrupted sleep, emotional overwhelm, and constant stress — no wonder you feel depleted.

Support yourself by:

• Resting without guilt (grief is work).

• Taking small “energy pockets” — 10 quiet minutes between tasks.

• Protecting your time and energy by limiting draining activities.

3. Brain Fog and Forgetfulness

If you’ve walked into a room and forgotten why, reread the same sentence five times, or struggled to follow a simple conversation, you’re not losing your mind. Your brain is prioritizing survival.

To cope:

• Write everything down. Lists are lifesavers.

• Reduce multitasking.

• Speak to yourself with compassion and acknowledge: My brain is grieving.

4. Digestive Issues

Nausea, diarrhea, constipation, loss of appetite, binge eating — grief impacts the gut in profound ways because the gut has its own nervous system.

Gentle strategies include:

• Eating small, simple meals.

• Sipping water or herbal tea through the day.

• Avoiding long stretches without food (low blood sugar worsens anxiety).

5. Anxiety, Shakiness, and Panic

Grief and panic often intertwine. Your body may shake, buzz, or tremble from adrenaline overload.

Try grounding techniques like:

• The 5-4-3-2-1 method (engage the senses as a way to ground yourself).

• Pressing your feet into the floor.

• Slow breathing to anchor yourself.

6. Sleep Disturbances

Many grieving moms experience insomnia, nightmares, or waking at 3 a.m. with a racing mind. A dysregulated nervous system doesn’t switch off easily.

Try:

• A gentle bedtime routine.

• Limiting screens before bed.

• Keeping a notebook beside you for racing thoughts.

• Taking short naps (10–20 minutes).

Please speak with your doctor if sleep becomes unmanageable.

7. Muscle Tension and Body Aches

Grief settles in the shoulders, jaw, neck, and back. I felt like my body aged 25 years in the first year without Katie.

Help your body release tension by:

• Gentle stretching

• Warm baths or heat packs

• Walking

• Massage, if accessible

8. A Weakened Immune System

If you’re catching every cold going around, there’s a reason: stress suppresses immunity.

Support your health by:

• Hydrating

• Nourishing your body

• Getting sunlight

• Resting whenever needed

• Saying “no” more often

9. Hormonal Chaos

Hot flashes, migraines, irregular cycles, mood changes. Grief impacts every hormonal pathway. Tracking your symptoms and speaking with a doctor can be incredibly helpful.

What Helps Your Body Heal

Here are simple practices that genuinely support a grieving body:

• Slow, intentional breathing

• Micro-movement (tiny, manageable activity)

• Connection — grief was never meant to be carried alone

• Nourishment, even in small amounts

• Real rest, not scrolling or numbing

A turning point for me came months after Katie died, when I finally realized: “This is grief living in my body.” And from that moment on, the question shifted from “What’s wrong with me?” to“What does my grieving body need today?”

If you're wondering whether anyone else understands what you're feeling, I promise you’re not alone. Inside the Angel Moms Community, we talk about these hidden parts of grief openly, with compassion, honesty, and support. You can learn more here.