Grief & How to Sort Belongings After Child Loss

When it comes time to sort through your child's clothing and belongings after they pass away, it can feel like an impossible task. Every item carries memories, and the thought of sorting through them may stir up overwhelming emotions. Whether it's been weeks, months, or even years, there is no “right” timeline for this process—only what feels right for you.

If you find yourself struggling with what to do, this blog will help you explore gentle and meaningful ways to approach your child’s belongings without pressure or guilt. And if this topic resonates with you, I invite you to listen to my full podcast episode, where I dive even deeper into these ideas and share personal stories to support you on this journey. You'll find the link at the bottom of this blog.

Why This Process Feels So Hard

When you lose a child, their belongings become more than just objects—they are pieces of their life and your memories together. The fear of letting go can feel like losing them all over again. You might feel torn between wanting to keep everything as it is and the need to create space for your own healing. Both feelings are valid, and both can exist together.

A Gentle Approach to Sorting Belongings

If you’re not sure where to start, consider these small, manageable steps:

✔️ Begin with one small area—a single drawer or shelf instead of tackling an entire room.

✔️ Set a timer for 10-15 minutes to ease into the process without feeling overwhelmed.

✔️ Ask a trusted friend or family member to sit with you, providing quiet support as you decide what to do with certain items.

✔️ Take photos of cherished belongings before parting with them, so you can hold onto the memories in a way that feels safe.

Lisa's Book about child loss

Ways to Repurpose and Honour Their Belongings

Letting go of items doesn’t mean letting go of your child—it means finding ways to keep their presence close in a way that feels meaningful. Here are a few ideas:

✔️ Create a memory quilt or pillow from their favourite clothes.

✔️ Turn their handwriting or artwork into jewelry you can wear close to your heart.

✔️ Make a shadow box display with special keepsakes, notes, and small treasures.

✔️ Donate their clothes or toys to a meaningful cause, knowing that their things will bring comfort to someone else in need.

✔️ Dedicate a special space in your home where you can keep a few treasured items instead of feeling the pressure to keep everything.

Releasing Guilt & Moving Forward With Love

One of the hardest parts of this process is the guilt that often comes with letting go. You might wonder, “If I give this away, am I erasing them?” The answer is no. Your child’s memory lives in your heart, not in physical things.

If you find yourself stuck, try this:

✔️ Say aloud: “I love you, and I am keeping you in my heart; my love in not in these things.”

✔️ Ask yourself: Would my child want me to feel burdened by this?

✔️ Remind yourself: You can always change your mind. Start with what feels right.

Listen to the Full Episode for More Support

Sorting through your child’s belongings is an emotional journey, but you don’t have to walk it alone. In this podcast episode, I share even more insights, personal experiences, and gentle guidance to help you navigate this process with love and grace.

🎧 Click here to listen now.

In this episode I also mention a free resource that I create called "3 Ways to Move Forward without Letting Go". You can request that HERE.