As you navigate the overwhelming pain of child loss, you may find yourself asking, "Will I ever feel normal again?" It's a question that many grieving moms ask, and the answer is not an easy one. Grief is not something that you "get over"—it is something you learn to live with, even when it feels unbearable.
While it is impossible to feel “normal” again, bereaved mothers somehow find a new sense of 'being' that allows them to keep moving forward.
How Grief and Child Loss Changes Us
Grief changes us in ways that can be hard to describe. Before your loss, life was busy, yes, but it was also carefree in many ways. You weren't constantly thinking about death, or what would happen if you lost someone you loved. But after losing your child, everything shifts.
You’ll likely find that your sense of "normal", the way you lived your life, is gone. And with that loss comes a feeling of feeling “lost”. It’s not just the absence of your child that hurts—it’s the loss of your identity too.
Grief leaves a permanent imprint. The way you see the world, your perspective on life, and even your emotional responses all shift in the wake of this profound loss.
Creating a New Normal
The short answer to the question "Will I ever feel normal again?" is, no. The “normal” you knew before your child’s death may never return, but here’s the hopeful part: You can create a new normal.
Creating a new normal doesn’t mean forgetting your child, or pretending the grief doesn’t exist. It means finding a way to live with your grief in a way that allows you to experience moments of peace, joy, and even connection again. It’s about learning how to carry your grief and love together, even when it feels impossible.
I remember a time when I couldn’t listen to music without feeling like I was being stabbed in the heart by every song. Music reminded me of the joy that was now lost forever. But one day, months later, I heard a song in the grocery store and something shifted. For the first time, I didn’t burst into tears. It was a small, almost insignificant moment, but it marked a change—proof that even amidst the pain, healing was starting to happen.
Grief will always be a part of you, but in time, you will find a way to carry it differently. Some days will still feel like an unbearable weight, and some days, you might even laugh or feel joy again. That doesn’t mean you are “moving on,” it just means you’re finding a new way forward with your child forever in your heart.
Healing Through Connection
When you are grieving, it’s easy to feel isolated, especially if no one around you can truly understand the depth of your pain. You may feel like you’re walking alone through this journey. But the truth is, you are not alone. There is a community of grieving moms out there who understand exactly what you're going through.
Connecting with others who are walking a similar path can be incredibly healing. Whether it’s in a support group, through a podcast, or in an online community like The Angel Moms Community, these connections provide a sense of understanding and solidarity that can ease the burden of isolation.
As you begin to rebuild your life, it’s often these relationships that help you find strength. Other grieving moms know what it’s like to live with the weight of loss, and they can help guide you through the moments when it feels impossible. These connections are not about erasing the pain—they’re about making the journey a little less lonely.
Your New Normal: What It Can Look Like
While grief changes you, in time it also reveals a new version of yourself. As painful as this process is, it allows you to grow in unexpected ways. Here are some of the ways grief has helped me and others find a new sense of normal:
Deepened Relationships: Loss has a way of bringing people closer, especially those who truly understand your pain and are willing to walk with you through the darkness.
A Shift in Perspective: Grief changes how you see life—what really matters, and what’s worth fighting for.
More Compassion for Others: After experiencing the depths of your own sorrow, you can’t help but see the pain in others more clearly, extending kindness and compassion where it’s needed most.
Though grief may never fully go away, it’s possible to rebuild in a way that aligns with the new version of yourself—one that honours your child while allowing you to live and grow again.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re in the thick of grief right now and feel like you’ll never be okay again, I want you to know this: You are changing, but you are not disappearing. The person you were before your loss still exists within you, and while you may never return to being exactly the same, you will find a way to live with your grief and your child's love in a new, compassionate way.
If you’d like to hear more about how grief changes us and how you can find healing in the midst of it, I encourage you to listen to the full episode on The Angel Moms Podcast.
You are not alone on this journey. Together, we can heal, step by step.
XO Lisa Boehm
PS: I created a free video series just for bereaved mothers that addresses the 5 biggest struggles that they face. You can request the videos HERE.
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